Welcome to Real Life Lessons

San Mateo County Times
Laughter helps author persevere
Tiffany Maleshefski


*"It's a self-help book that reads like a peice of fiction. All that is purely intentional"*

Death followed Debbie Gisonni around like a grim shadow between 1990 and 1994.

During that time Gisonni lost her mother to a 10-year battle with a brain tumor, her father to bone cancer, a favorite aunt to breast cancer and her sister to suicide.

"Death has a funny way of putting perspective on life," said Gisonni.

Funny indeed.

Gisonni, who has lived in Redwood City for the last 15 years, has a sense of humor that is the cornerstone of how she kept her emotional stability in focus through a dark period that have driven many to depression.

But for Gisonni, the way to get out of bed every morning heavily relied upon her willingness to continue to see the fun and joy that life still offered.

It was also the backbone of her debut as an author.

Last year, Gisonni released her first book "Vita's Will," and started her new company, Real Life Lessons, geared toward providing coping tools for the various challenges life hands out.

"Vita's Will" is the first installment in a series of inspirational and motivating books that Gisonni already has planned for publication.

Prior to her days as a writer, Gisonni enjoyed a corporate life filled with progressive promotions and a fairytale ending that propelled her to the top.

As publisher of the high-tech magazine "Internet Week," Gisonni was on the cusp of discovering the immense importance the Internet explosion would have upon Silicon Valley.

She was making a handsome, six-figure salary in 1998, married happily and living in San Mateo County as snug as the proverbial bug.

But that same year she tabled all that, packed up her briefcase and left her hard drive behind.

"When I left I knew I was going to do something more meaningful, I didn't know what that was," said Gisonni.

Describing herself as a "type-A" personality, Gisonni admits to planning barbecues that might include up to 80 guests. Her job meant she was often on a plane at least once a month.

Although she didn't necessarily know how to relax, a traditional vacation was out of the question. For most of her life "relaxation" usually involved a lot of planning and work.

Gisonni needed a vacation that did not include travel, social gatherings or party planning.

She needed to cut away from all of it and go on one of the most important, stay-at-home, journeys of her life.

"Leaving corporate life behind left my identity at the office," said Gisonni. "All of a sudden I didn't have that and I had to reclaim my identity, it was a weird transition."

So, sitting down at her computer, she shirked off the former days of intranets andweb banners, and remembered how she coped with the prevalence of death in her life.

And then she began thinking how she coped with anything. Gisonni brainstormed how she transitioned from corporate identity to asking the real Debbi Gisonni to please stand up.

Born out of that process came "Vita's Will."

It is a book that explores the obstacles Gisonni has overcome, but includes at the end of each chapter a lesson to be understood or gained by the whole experience.

"Sometimes the people you're closest to turn out to be strangers," reads one lesson, "Rid yourself of guilt, which only serves to kill your body, mind and spirit," reads another passage."

It's a self-help book that reads like a piece of fiction. All that is purely intentional.

Gisonni said when she started the book she concentrated heavily on the "helping" part, but after she read some of it she was more bemused at how "boring" it was instead of helpful.

"I realized the story is more interesting to write instead of a self-help book," said Gisonni.

Through that experience, Gisonni also felt that there was potential to expand the lessons and therapeutic effects of "Vita's Will" into a full-fledged company geared towards helping people make difficult transitions while keeping positive.

"Real Life Lessons" is the company and "Vita's Will" is the first product from that company.

Gisonni said more books are on the way, as well as magazines, films and television segments.

Future topics might include "How to Take Charge of Your Career," and "Losing a Job."

She is also volunteering her time within the county to talk to teenage girls regarding business and contracting out her skills as a business consultant and strategist.

"I am looking forward to the whole new venture that I am in," said Gisonni. "I think I am going to learn a lot."

Jan 1, 2001